This is just for my mental therapy.
11.5 months ago I had surgery on the neck to cut out the cancer. That required the Doc to cut a nerve to my right shoulder. Those muscles atrophied (a bit, no?). I’m not complaining. I’ll trade that numb or dead spot for that pain in my neck any time. There are certain things I can’t do. A right hand layup on the basketball hoop for example. I can’t use my right hand to scratch parts of my back – that involves lifting the shoulder up before moving the forearm down. I couldn’t get my lawnmower started because I couldn’t pull the cord fast enough.
My eating abilities changed. I adjusted my menu and cooking.
I spent some cash on new computers and parts – I could still type and think although I was no better at either than I was before.
So you make adjustments. I hired a mowing service. When the night time cools down, I sat on the deck in the dark and pondered how things have changed since last year and was thankful this year was much better than last year. I was also sliding into victim-hood. You get used to spending money like you only have a year left (or thinking you might only have a short time). You stop paying attention. Do what you’re told. Do what needs to be done with your check book.
For example, It was uncomfortable rowing through the gears in the Porsche 944. I couldn’t rest my right comfortably on the console. I felt ‘bound up’. The 944 was also making a growling noise at low speed. Something was failing. Maybe I should sell it and buy something sensible like a Kia or a Honda with an automatic? Sure, it would cost a lot but who can predict the future?
In the AARP bi-monthly rag was a hint that a growling sound might be low power steering fluid levels. They were right. Who knew? I do now. $7.00 fix. A few days later I was embolden to adjust the seating position in the 944. Just slide the seat back, one notch and It’s all good. Not perfect but much better. Obvious? It wasn’t.
The lesson is that thinking like a woe-is-me victim and maybe I can spend my way to happiness if I have enough money. That caused me to ignore the simplest solutions. I saw that behaviour in my mothers final years and yet I didn’t see it happing to me. Victim hood creeps up on you slowly. Beware the wumpus.